I am terrified of spiders. I don’t know why, really. I’ve never had a life-or-death experience with an arachnid, but for some reason, the sight of one instantly instills fear, making my heart pound and skin bead with sweat. Always has.
This past fall, Ian and I were staying in a stone cottage in the Cotswolds region of England. It was charming by every measure—charming, except for the giant black spider that greeted me on our very first morning, glaring at me like a beacon on the cream-colored wall by the front door. I imagined it taunting me saying, “Now you know I’m here. That means there may be more of my kind, and you never know when we’ll appear.”
The rest of the trip, seeing another spider was a persistent thought in the back of my mind. I was afraid of something that hadn’t even happened.
But that’s pretty much what fear does. Wrapped in the guise of protection, fear inhibits our joy. It can also inhibit our ability to lead, particularly when it comes to decision-making.
Do any of these thoughts sound familiar?
- I fear the donor won’t fund us, so we need to implement a program that doesn’t align with our strategy.
- I fear that I’ll hurt a staff member’s feelings, so I won’t provide feedback.
- I fear that I might fail, so I won’t pursue a new project.
In sticky situations—and we’ve all had them—fear lurks like a silent adversary, ready to thwart our ability to make clear and confident choices. Thankfully, we can meet and move through fear with these three strategies.
Own It
The first step is to acknowledge the presence of fear and accept its role in decision-making. Rather than denying or suppressing feelings of fear, we can own up to them, recognizing that fear is a natural response to uncertainty and vulnerability that even the best leaders can experience. By embracing fear as a normal part of the leadership journey, we can take ownership of our emotions and prevent them from exerting undue influence on our decisions.
Say It
Once we’ve acknowledged our fears, it’s essential to give them a voice. When we speak openly and honestly about our concerns (with ourselves and others), we strip them of their power and gain a sense of influence over them. In addition, expressing our fears allows us to solicit feedback, gain perspective, and explore potential solutions with our team or trusted advisors.
Share It
Fear thrives in isolation, but withers in the presence of community and collaboration. When we are willing to share our fears openly and authentically with others, we cultivate a culture of psychological safety, in which team members feel comfortable expressing their own fears and vulnerabilities. This fosters trust, strengthens bonds, and encourages collective problem-solving—enabling our entire team to confront challenges with courage and resilience.
Need a partner to help you navigate periods of fear, change, and uncertainty? Sign on for our Trusted Advisor coaching package for a dedicated sounding board and guide.